DAY 6 - Family Conflict

Family conflict is almost as old as humanity and is a recurring theme in the Bible. Because family relationships have an even greater potential for conflict than other relationships, God gave some clear commands for each family member. When we defy those commands, family conflict will erupt. For husbands and wives, the Bible details specific instructions. Husbands are to love their wives as they love their own bodies (Ephesians 5:25–29). Wives are to respect the leadership position of their husbands (Ephesians 5:22–24). Children are to obey their parents in everything (Ephesians 6:1), and those parents are to bring up their children in the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). Grandparents are to delight in grandchildren and share their wisdom with them (Proverbs 17:6). There is to be no sexual contact of any kind between immediate family members (Leviticus 18:6–18; 1 Timothy 5:2). When families align their home and practices with Scripture, the occasions of family conflict diminish.

God compares His church to a family, so the rules to the church on relationships also apply to individual families. Every child of God is to respond to other Christians as brothers and sisters (Romans 12:10; 1 Peter 3:8). The church is to avoid “discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder” (2 Corinthians 12:20), and so should families. James 4:11 says, “Brothers, do not slander one another.” A rule of thumb is that if we would not treat a highly respected friend a certain way, then don’t treat family members that way.

Healthy families provide a safe place for every member to express his or her feelings, thoughts, opinions, and desires. Families don’t have to agree on everything in order to maintain harmony. The absence of family conflict is not necessarily the sign of a healthy family. God designed the family to be a place where every member feels loved and valued, where differences can be acknowledged and respected, and where inevitable conflicts are peacefully resolved. Through dealing with family conflict, we can learn humility, kindness, patience, and selfless love (Galatians 5:22), traits that will benefit us as we interact with our brothers and sisters in the family of God.

Dear Heavenly Father, we come before you today seeking your guidance and peace in the midst of our family conflict. Help us to communicate openly and honestly with one another, to forgive each other's mistakes, and to listen with understanding. Grant us the wisdom to see each other's perspectives and the humility to admit when we are wrong. May your love fill our home and heal the wounds that divide us. We pray for unity and reconciliation within our family, in Jesus' name, Amen.